Reaching out
by The Forgotten Nobody
Summary: Set after 1x03. No one has seen Athos for days and when d'Artagnan spies a light on his room, he goes to help his friend, even if he doesn't want it.


It was early in the hours of the morning and d'Artagnan was looking forward to retiring to his bed in order to rest his weary body. Though he frequently accompanied his Musketeer friends in their endeavours, that did not change the fact he was not yet truly one of them and for that reason he had extra duties to carry out in order to prove himself. He did not mind it really, he was willing to do anything to become a Musketeer; however he could not deny that it was tiring work and left him with little free time. With the thought of the Musketeers and his friends on his mind, d'Artagnan found himself pass Athos' residence. Through a window, d'Artagnan could see the flickering of a light and curiosity claimed him.

It had only been a few days since d'Artagnan had saved his friend from the flames of his old home, where Athos had imparted to him a dark secret which he had sworn to keep quiet. Since finishing their mission, Athos had scarcely been out and no one had seen him since. d'Artagnan had expressed his concern to Aramis and Porthos however they assured him that Athos sometimes got in these moods where he wanted to be alone and he would come to them when he was ready. This explanation did little to ease his worry, especially after what he had found out. It was for this reason that the young Gascon felt the need to go to his friend's door, to assure himself that all was well for it truly was such a late hour for him to still be awake.

He knew that there were a multitude of reasons that Athos may still have a light that did not require the worry he was currently feeling. Athos may have a mistress, thus making d'Artagnan's presence very unwanted, but never before had it been heard of Athos taking a mistress and since learning of his previous experience of women, it was not hard to understand why. There was also the chance that like he himself, Athos had been carrying out a duty that he had just returned from, but at the length of time d'Artagnan had been mentally debating with himself, he should have surely turned out the candle by now.

Reasons continued to fly into his head at why Athos should have a candle lit and each time d'Artagnan argued with himself. He really did want to see Athos, and he knew he would be too busy to try and do it at a later, more reasonable time should the man not venture out himself. Eventually, d'Artagnan gathered the courage to enter Athos' lodgings and go to his room. He had not been to the man's home many times at all, in fact, he could count the number on one hand. By nature, Athos was very much a recluse and enjoyed his time alone. It just concerned d'Artagnan that he continued this behaviour for so very long.

d'Artagnan knew that Athos would most likely be very dissatisfied to find d'Artagnan in his home at such an hour when he had not been invited. Once again, d'Artagnan internally argued with himself and finally he decided that should Athos' door be locked then he would leave. It was a weak excuse to leave but d'Artagnan did not really want to face the ire of his friend, which he would almost definitely face if he entered when Athos had explicitly wanted to keep people out.

Footsteps as quiet as could be, d'Artagnan moved through the building until he reached Athos' room. The door was indeed shut and just as d'Artagnan was about to check whether it was locked, he heard a crash.

Without wasting any time, d'Artagnan had a hand on his sword and ran through the door which was, fortunately, unlocked. Looking for an intruder, d'Artagnan spied none. Only Athos was in the room, nursing a bottle of wine, and looking at d'Artagnan incredulously, as if he could not believe he was there. On the floor beside his feet were the remnants of a glass and d'Artagnan thought that it must have just been the victim of Athos' sometimes incredible rage.

"d'Artagnan, what are you doing here?" Athos' voice was slurred and his eyes were bleary as he stared at d'Artagnan. Instead of answering, the Gascon looked around the room a bit more observantly. Bottles of various alcoholic substances were littered around and d'Artagnan was not sure how old they were as it didn't look like the room had been cleaned in a long while. Whilst in general men were known to enjoy their liquor and there was nothing wrong with that, the number of bottles d'Artagnan spied seemed a bit extreme and worsened his concern. It appeared that Athos was trying to drink himself into oblivion.

"d'Artagnan?" Athos' tone had become impatient and even when drunk, or especially when drunk, d'Artagnan did not want to infuriate the man.

"I was walking past when I saw the light. I am concerned, no one has seen you since we completed our orders."

Athos gave a bitter smile. "The one time I forget to lock the door…," he murmured to himself, yet d'Artagnan still heard and refrained from saying that he probably would have knocked the door down had it been locked due to the crash he'd heard.

Louder, Athos directly addressed d'Artagnan. "As you can see, there is no need for concern so I advise you return to your lodgings."

While d'Artagnan knew that was the best thing he could do, something made him stay. He wanted to find the root of the cause to Athos' drinking and whilst he could guess, he wanted true answers so that he may be able to properly help.

"I know a good man likes his wine Athos, but do you not think this," he gestured to the bottles surrounding them, "is a bit excessive?"  
Athos began to give him a dark look but d'Artagnan did not lose his resolve, though his knees trembled slightly at the sight.

"I see nothing wrong. Do not interfere with matters that are not yours to interfere with. Your intentions are not welcome."

It was an obvious dismissal, but d'Artagnan did not take the warning. He was a perceptive young man, yet he was not the smartest and so therefore he did not choose the wise option.

"Is this because of your wife? Is her reappearance that is causing you so much pain?"

It appeared d'Artagnan had hit a nerve as Athos slammed the bottle in his hand on the table. It was purely luck that it did not break like the other had.  
"I believe we agreed never to speak of that," Athos growled.

"No, you told me not to tell the others and I have not. So that is the reason for this then? Why?"

"Why?" Athos looked at him disbelievingly. "After all I told you I wonder how you can ask such a thing. I am not a good man d'Artagnan. I killed my wife, the woman I promised to love and cherish, and now she is back to haunt me. To never let me forget the guilt I feel, to remind me of a life I can never have again." Athos took a long swig of wine, as if trying to beat back the painful memories and the feelings that had resurfaced from his admission.

"You said it yourself that she was, or I suppose is, a cold-blooded murderer," d'Artagnan reasoned. He could not imagine the full story behind what drove Athos to this state, but he knew that Athos was a good, honourable man who should not bear such a tremendous guilt. A man who was his friend and because of such, d'Artagnan would do all he could to ease it if he would not help himself.

"That does not excuse it!" Athos thundered. "I was a fool, an idiot."

"For what? You are not the first to have been deceived by pretty eyes and you should not blame yourself for what happened. She was a killer, Athos, and you did what you needed to do to protect people."

"I even failed that," Athos responded miserably. "I do not expect you to understand how I feel," he continued and that was true. d'Artagnan did not really understand why Athos felt such a way. He was such a secretive man normally, who only revealed his true emotions in moments such as these and d'Artagnan could not honestly say that he knew the Musketeer completely.

"You are right, I do not, but you asked me that night what you should do and I have an answer for you. You need to live. Do not let this woman hold you back from your potential, from life. It is not worth it. You did what you thought was right and I do not condemn you for that, neither would Aramis or Porthos I'm sure. Yes, you may meet her again but do not kill yourself over this. Do not let her continue to hold power over you."

Athos gave a grim chuckle. "Of course the woman still has a hold on me. Regardless, I am hardly killing myself d'Artagnan, do not be so dramatic."

d'Artagnan rolled his eyes with exasperation. He was getting nowhere with this! "You may not be dead tonight, you may not be dead tomorrow, but your behaviour is reckless, even by Musketeer standards. You are still hurting Athos and Aramis and Porthos may be content to let you continue but I am not."

Athos took a step forward. "You think yourself a better friend than Aramis and Porthos? Men who I consider brothers against the boy whom we have only just met? Do not flatter yourself d'Artagnan."

The coldness of the insult made d'Artagnan hurt slightly but he ignored it, refusing to allow himself to be intimidated. "I know you do not know me well and that is why I have the confidence to tell you these things."

"Confidence? Insolence is more like it," Athos commented. He blinked his eyes a few times and stared at the bottle in his hand. d'Artagnan could see that sobriety was beginning to return to him by the way his words were less slurred and his eyes became brighter.

"Call it what you will, I only act this way because I want to help you," d'Artagnan insisted.

Athos shook his head. "You never cease to amaze me d'Artagnan. I do not deserve to be helped yet you insist on doing it. One day you will lose your innocence and naivety, may it not be too soon."

"I am not innocence Athos, I know the hardships and pains of this world, maybe not as well as you, but I do. I tell you that you deserve to be helped. Would Aramis and Porthos be friends with a man who did not deserve it? Would Treville hold you in such a high regard?"

"People are foolish," Athos said idly but d'Artagnan hoped that he was finally getting through to him. Slowly, he plucked the bottle out of Athos' hands and the other man let him have it without protest, which d'Artagnan counted as a win.

"They sometimes are, but in this case they are not. I know that you do not believe me, but you do not deserve the life you provide for yourself. Do not hide yourself away," d'Artagnan said as he began to clear up the room slightly, ignoring Athos' watching eyes. He put some of the unopened bottles in the cupboard and Athos didn't stop him, just continued watching.

There was a bit of silence before Athos responded. "You are indeed a strange one," he said considerately. "Insolent, loud and headstrong, yet I am glad that I am able to call you my friend."

D'Artagnan couldn't hold the grin that broke out on his face. "I am glad to call you the same. It is late now, you should rest. I know that Aramis and Porthos have missed talking with you."

Athos gave a small twitch of the lips, which spoke volumes at how he had missed speaking with them too. "It is quite late, I agree. I shall retire."  
"I will see you tomorrow then," d'Artagnan said hesitantly. Would Athos return to his previous actions once he left?

Athos noticed d'Artagnan's uncertainty and gave him an extremely rare, affectionate smile that the alcohol had no doubt helped produce. "I will be fine d'Artagnan. I plan to sleep, nothing more. I will see you in the morning along with the others."

That eased the worry in d'Artagnan's chest and he felt happy to leave Athos. He was feeling extremely weary now and he needed the chance to recuperate before another long day. However, had Athos required it, he would have stayed up all night. D'Artagnan had placed a hand on the door when Athos said one more thing.

"Thank you."

It was said with such quietness, yet no less emotion, that d'Artagnan knew he need not answer, he only had to listen. With a smile, d'Artagnan left Athos alone. He may not have been of much help at all, but he only hoped that Athos remembered his words and knew that he could speak to d'Artagnan about whatever he wished without judgement. Above all, however, he wanted Athos to know that he had one more friend of whom he could rely on.

The next morning Athos appeared to his friends at breakfast. Aramis and Porthos had looked to each other with surprise, they had expected Athos to remain alone for at least another day, but once they saw the pleased look on d'Artagnan's face and Athos' nod towards him they understood. It looked like this young Gascon boy was a good influence on their friend, and for that they were grateful. He would be a great addition as a Musketeer, and he would become an even greater friend.

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_If you have any prompts, preferably involving Athos and d'Artagnan, I'd be happy to give it a go! This fandom needs more fics! _


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